On behalf of Patty Alli, Mikey, Cal and myself, thank you all for your kindness, friendship and support. You have sustained us. Our thanks begin with Father Tom and Father John, who both went above and beyond to support us. They came immediately to support us, gave Joe last rites, and prayed with us as a family.  The entire St. Anslem community has been amazing. Thank you.

 

Since we got the terrible news about Joe we have been bouncing between the poles of grief and gratitude. The grief is understandable: We were blessed to be an incredibly close family. The six of us traveled together and had adventures across the country and around the world. We have a family motto: All 4 one & 1 for all! It simply means that when we stick together nothing can beat us. And although we were a group, there was only one ringleader- that was Joe. He was the unofficial “Director of Fun and Games.”

 

I know we all leaned on him, both figuratively and literally, but I didn’t realize how much until he was taken from us. His abrupt departure caused us to stumble and fall. However, with God’s grace and your support we will get back up and be the close, happy family Joe knows us to be. That’s what he would want and how we will honor him.

 

Somehow, in the midst of this nightmare, we found gratitude. We’ve been visited by such kindness, friendship and support. Each happy memory and act of kindness is like a beam of light showing us the way forward. We are so grateful for so much. 

 

First of all, we are grateful for the wonderful relationships Joe had throughout his lifetime.

 

Joe’s sister, Alli, was two years older than Joe. They were the two oldest Kenney kids and grew up together. Many of our family traditions started with them. They had a wonderful time together as children and up through high school. But then when they went to college we feared that they would grow apart and go their separate ways. Alli was down at Vanderbilt in Tennessee, and Joe was off at Boulder in Colorado. There was a lot of geography between them. Patty and I were concerned that they might sink roots in their respective college towns and stay there. We feared that our family life would never again be as close as it had always been. Thank God both decided to settle back in Boston after college. Not only were they together again, they literally lived only 1 mile apart in South Boston. And then the most wonderful thing happened; they developed an adult friendship on their own terms. As siblings, you’re born and stuck with each other, but you choose your friends. Patty and I are so grateful that Alli and Joe chose to be friends. 

 

In fact, just one week before we lost Joe, he invited Alli and her friends to join him and his friends on his rooftop deck. (Perhaps he had an ulterior motive?)  The next day they both came out to have dinner with us and talked about the great time they had toasting life as the sun set on the city’s skyline. For that, we are grateful.

 

 

Joe’s brother, Mikey, was two years younger than Joe. From the time Mikey was born he and Joe were the closest of playmates and the best of friends. And that never changed. One of my favorite things in life is to hear Mikey describe his exploits with Joe. The tales are told with a note of pride and a chuckle of bemusement as Mikey shakes his head at the fun and thrills they experienced together. The love, respect and mutual admiration between them was palpable. For that, we’re grateful.

 

Joe’s brother, Cal, was six years younger than him. So, for Cal, Joe was not just a big brother, but also his hero. When Joe moved back to Boston, he and Cal started a tradition of the two of them relaxing in the hot tub to have a beer and some brotherly talks. Cal didn’t share too much of his social life with us, but he confided in Joe and got the benefit Joe’s advice and experience. Cal always joked that Joe toughened him up by letting him run with the big dogs even though Cal was six years younger than Joe and his friends. Joe deserves all the adoration. He was a great brother and even made the four-hour round-trip drive several times this fall to support Cal in his football career at Amherst College. Joe was just as proud of Cal as Cal was of him. And for that, we are grateful 

Joe and Patty had a unique relationship. One of the many things I love about my beautiful wife is how devoted she is to our four children. She has given me the family I always dreamed of. Foremost among her devotions was making sure Joe was happy, healthy and well. 

 

When Joe was eight years old, he was diagnosed with Type I diabetes. We knew it was a serious condition , but didn’t know then that this terrible disease would take him from us one day. Patty threw herself into mastering his care and ended up knowing more about diabetes than all the doctors and nurses put together. She taught Joe how to test his blood sugar by pricking his finger and applying blood to litmus paper in a machine called a glucometer. When Joe’s blood sugar was low, he needed injections of insulin. Patty was the one who gave Joe his insulin shots. She took on that tough job, not me. It was not a fun one. Suffice it to say that it’s tough to bond with a kid when you’re chasing him with a needle. Patty did it with her loving, steadfast devotion to Joe’s well-being.

To add insult to injury Joe was diagnosed with Celiac Disease shortly after the diabetes diagnosis. The latter prevented him from enjoying many of the treats kids normally enjoy like cookies, cupcakes, sandwiches, pizza, or pasta. But Joe never complained because Patty made sure he never missed a thing. She is such a great chef; she would whip up gluten-free recipes that would make Rachel Ray envious. Her gluten-free cooking was better than the regular stuff, every time. She was so devoted to Joe and loved to see him enjoy her food. I marveled at their mutual excitement as they planned meals. She would cook them up and we’d all enjoy them together. It was always a celebration! For that, we are grateful.

During his high school years, Joe became, like many of us, rebellious. He and Patty began butting heads and I would have to referee their disputes. I hated that role.

Fortunately, once Joe went off to college in Colorado he climbed up a couple of rungs on the maturity ladder and saw things more clearly. He realized that everything Patty did was to make sure he was happy and well. This realization produced an ever-increasing sense of appreciation in Joe. He wrote his mother the nicest notes and thanked her incessantly for the many things she did for him. After we took him to dinner, took a family vacation, or bought him a gift, it was only a matter of minutes before Patty’s phone would beep to signal the arrival of a beautiful note of gratitude from Joe to us. 

 

After Joe moved back to Boston two years ago and began working at the Kenney company with Tim and Brian, Patty and Joe became even closer. Joe seemed to have developed a profound understanding of how much she loved him and sacrificed for him. This caused him to call her every day… Every day!

He didn’t call me every day, but that was OK! I knew how much he loved me, and he knew I loved him. We told each other. And I’m grateful that he was such a great boy for me to father. It was idyllic. As a father I had precisely the type of relationship I dreamed of having with my first son. There were cowboy boots and pony rides, BB guns and bow and arrows, football, basketball and baseball; hiking, fishing and camping trips; and so many fun games, meaningful traditions and great stories. Later, when Mikey and Cal came along, they always joined us in these adventures. Oftentimes Alli joined in, too, but sometimes she just went shopping with Patty instead!

As much as I enjoyed being Joe‘s father, I’m particularly grateful for the fine young man he became and the adult friendship we developed. Simply put, he was one of my best friends. We did so much together as friends over the past couple of years. In the last several months alone, Joe joined me on a business trip to Las Vegas, where we ate like Viking warlords,  saw a Vegas variety show, and even won a couple of hands of poker. He joined Patty and me on a trip to Kansas City recently for a friend’s wedding. Joe even put on a tuxedo for the affair. He and I went to three Sox games this fall, and after each game we got great meals and compared notes on our lives and jobs. I learned so much from him and really enjoyed our time together. You see, Joe was good company. 

 

Patty and I always said that Joe was “good company.“ He traveled all around the world and across the country in his short life. It was never about the destination-the joy was in the journey. He welcomed pitstops and detours because of the unexpected adventures that beckoned him. 

 

He was fun to be with. His friend and neighbor, Denny Cakert, who will be reciting the Responsorial Psalm today, took a road trip with Joe across country from Boston to Colorado. Joe told me that they had a great time, but I never got the full details. After Joe passed, Denny came over to the house and told us he had been journaling about their adventures on that trip-what they did, what they saw, what they talked about, whom they met and where they went. I said, “Denny I think I would enjoy reading your journal.” He paused and then replied: “probably not.” Ha ha. Denny, perhaps I can get the PG-13 sanitized version of the journal someday?

Joe was blessed with great friends, here in Sudbury where he grew up, out in Colorado where he went to college, and at work in his adult life. I hope you all join us at the reception after this service and share “Joe stories” with each other. You see, you all share the same DNA because Joe is your common denominator.

 

Joe’s LS friends have been over several times this week. We watched them grow up with Joe. Through sports, CCD, dating and proms, these boys became men before our very eyes. Their heartbreak from losing Joe is evident.

 

Last night, Joe’s friends from college came over. There must’ve been 30 of them from Boulder who appeared at our house to offer their condolences. Before long, someone cracked a beer to tell a story about Joe and raise a toast to him. This led to several more and the routine was the same every time: We would hear a great story that gave us into insight into Joe’s life in Colorado; the story usually ended with howls of laughter and back slaps, after which the toastmaster would raise his glass and say “ To YJK!”  All the other friends would raise their glasses and respond in unison with a chorus of “Forever Young!“

 

They told to us that during freshman year at Colorado, they nicknamed Joe “Young Joe Kenney.” At first, I didn’t understand. Joe was the same age as all his classmates so why did they consider him “young?”  They explained that Joe was young at heart-that he approached every day with a sense of wonder, an open mind, and an expectation of fun. They short-handed the nickname to “YJK” from Young Joe Kenney. 

 

I went to bed last night with that nickname in my head and awoke suddenly in the middle of the night with an epiphany: YJK is not just a nickname or a toast- it also relates to scripture. Jesus said in the Gospel of Matthew: “Truly I say to you, you must be like little children to get through the gates of Heaven.” This doesn’t mean we should be foolish, ignorant or small. Rather, God wants us to be enthusiastic, trusting, loyal and open to new experiences, like Joe was. He was never afflicted with jaded cynicism, and neither should we be. 

 

I love that toast, and want to share that experience with you, so at the end of my remarks in just a little bit I will toast YJK, and I would appreciate it if you would respond with the chorus “forever young.“

Joe, thank you for being such a great son and tremendously loyal friend. We miss you already. Goodbye, good luck and I love you.

Dear God, as we celebrate Joe‘s life, we thank You-thank You for entrusting Joe to us for 24 1/2 years. He enriched our lives. But we know that he was Your son before he was our son, so we return him to You for safekeeping until we are all reunited with him in heaven. 

 

In the meantime, Lord, please take good care of him. I promise you, he is good company.

To YJK!

Forever young!!